January 30, 2012

Betsy Explains it All...SAG edition

After an extended blogging vay-kay I am back! Nah-na-na-na-na-nah. Somehow in my extended absence the blog crested the 1,000 viewer threshold without so much a a celebratory cocktail on my behalf (and my handful of friends who probably click endless amounts of time out of pity)...I digress...back to business.

This week it is another edition of Betsy Explains it All...SAG edition. Think of this as the dress rehearsal to the upcoming mother of all Hollywood events...the Oscars! A whole lot of making nicey nice and not a whole lotta cake and champagne. Dresses were on the safe side. Lots of body skimming designs in a crayon box of colors, just like the GG's although these dresses didn't have the same wow factor. Overall, bravo ladies, job well done. Tagline of the night is "could have been worse". As for the actual SAG awards; as if I had time to watch? Maybe in another lifetime or if I lost my remote. It's all about the dresses, so let's take a look...

 Starting off with some nice bright colors. Love Natalie Portman's vino gown, a similar shade to Viola Davis's GG number, very nice Natalie. Michelle William looks pretty in a simple red Valentino stunner. Valentino is the fashion house that knows just what to do with that hue. Green with envy over Emily Blunt's Oscar de la Renta? Uh, not quite, but it is a nice color, that can easily veer off into Kermit territory, so props to Emily for making it work. I like the color of Jessica Chastain's dress but the overall look is lacking. I think its her hair, it's looking a little to precious and would have been better pulled back in some sleek pony or updo. Is that a tat in Kyra Sedgwick's cutout? I think yes! How clever that the cutout perfectly frames it. Keeps it from being boring.
A few more colorful frocks from the stars of the small screen. Sticking to berry hues, Sofia, Julie and Quinn from Glee look lovely. Sofia is a little one note with the same slightly fishtail gown and Julie looks like she is smuggling eggplants under her arms, but it could be worse. I like "Quinn's" hair as I am always a sucker for that front braid, perfected by Sienna Miller (and Mischa Barton of all people) eons ago. 

 I like Emma Stone's look, I think it is cute. Its a great way to wear black without looking to serious. The ankle straps might have not been the best choice, but they keep things in proportion without looking silly. Tea length can be a hard look to rock, especially on the red carpet ( I'm looking at you Tina Fey and your Zac Posen joke a few years ago) and dresses of this length are usually in sherbert-y cupcake hues. So final verdict Emma, "Easy A". Tina Fey has been working it ever since aforementioned Zac dud and she looks nice and safe in a black column dress. Nothing much to say either way, which is a good thing. Glenn Close brought the glam factor in a navy stunner. It seems ever since Helen Mirren showed the world how to look sexy as a senior citizen, the bar has been raised- high. A little bit of d√©colletage, while partially hiding her arms in tulle sleeves is a nice balance. Melissa McCarty, congrats! You seem to have recovered nicely from your GG mullet mishap. This hairstyle is much better, not to mention it makes you look like such a lady. Way to go to all!

Out of all the blush tones/nudes, these were the ones I liked the best (and there were lots). Each one on an actress of a different age giving the red carpet three different looks. Octavia Spencer showed versatility after her GG lavender choice. The sleeves are a nice balance because they keep the bottom half from looking like a beach sarong. Julianna Margulies always likes to keep things fitted and sexy and this custom Calvin Klein fits the bill. Its a good example of a look that features applique in a way that is not heavy or bulky. Girl from "Modern Family" who I now know is named Sarah Hyland shows the more youthful side of a nude look, in a 1920's inspired style. The flutter sleeves tend to be for the 30 and younger crowd (or at least thats who wears it best) and its nice the dress features beading mostly at the top and at the train, keeping away from the dreaded embroidery bulk, that can make even the most toned of sz 0's look preggers. Not featured are the close but no cigar looks (feel free to google) of Lea Michelle (UHG stop trying so hard, barf, barf, not worth posting your smug face and too much leg look here) Kristin Wiig (edwardian choker + nude gown= WTF no, eww, gross) and Tilda Swinton, who is an eternal fashion hit or miss.

Two polar opposite looks I really loved. Viola Davis in her classic Marchesa, Grecian inspired gown and Rose Byrne in Elie Saab. Viola will probably be on the best dressed list, while Rose will be crushed by Joan Rivers and crew on "Fashion Police". The look is very fashion forward but I'm biased, as I love me a good jumpsuit.


And these are the one's I just do not like. Frankly it could have been worse. Shailene Woodley, who's name I had to look up to get it right, (apparently until recently only known as the preggers girl on ABC Family's "Secret Life" or whatever it was called. Well she's certainly had a career boost? hmm), went for something outside the box, but all I can think of is Roxy does prom. This dress is almost the exact color combo of many a middle school Roxy outfit in my wardrobe. The neckline is matronly as well. Frankly the designers at Roxy would have done a better job giving her a Hawaiian/surfer chick goes to Hollywood gown. Ehh. Zoe Salanda always likes to go big in statement making couture gowns. This Givenchy is no exception. No doubt slaved over by countless artisans and dress making bigwigs (is that embroidery Lesage perhaps?). The problem is it does NOT photograph well. Everything is fine and dandy from the waist down, but up top it looks like she has paired a Hanes tank with a beaded granny shawl, which makes me think of Stevie Nicks. Lastly, we have Angelina "Corpse Bride" Jolie, who to me looks like the walking dead. The dress is nice and this style worked for other skeletal stars (think Keira Knightly in gold Gucci a few years back) but on Angelina it looks scary. From her hair to her front to back tats Angelina is scary and probably even skinnier than her skin and bones Tim Burton claymation counterpart. It's a problem when the words "Tim Burton" and "clay figures"are used to describe how lacking the usually stunning Angelina is looking these days.

Honorable mention goes to Armie (both Winklevoss twins in Social Network) Hammer. Who is super good looking in a non actor way. The guy knows how to look good in a tux, so for that he gets to be in here next to all the ladies. (that second pose is a little on the D-bag side thou)

Au Revior, until the Oscars, when we Explain it All again.

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